Monthly Archives: February 2012

Tucker and Dale vs Evil

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Tucker and Dale vs Evil

Oh hidy ho officer, we’ve had a doozy of a day. There we were minding our own business, just doing chores around the house, when kids started killing themselves all over my property.

This is my absolute new favourite movie. It’s another comedy horror, but different from anything I’ve seen before. It’s a horror movie from the perspective of THE OTHER SIDE and a study in serious miscommunication.

Tucker (Alan Tudyk of Firefly fame) and Dale are just two goodhearted hillbillies on their way to Tucker’s fixer upper vacation home in the backwoods. On the way there, they run into a group of stereotypical college kids. You know, the ones in every horror movie: the jock, the smart geek, the cheerleader, the stoner, etc, etc and the good, sensible girl with the heart of gold. Of course, the college kids are going camping in the same woods.

The college kids are terrified of Tucker and Dale, believing that our good ole boys are, ironically, stereotypical evil horror movie murderous backwoods hillbillies.

At night, the college kids get drunk and high and decide to go swim in the nearby lake. Tucker and Dale happen to be night fishing (the best time) in a canoe on the same lake. The two witness the good girl jumping into the lake from a large rock. Her friends, further away in the water, are too drunk or stoned to notice that good girl doesn’t surface. She hit her head on a submerged rock and only Tucker and Dale notice. The guys paddle over and fish her out of the water. Her friends finally notice this and what they see is the apparently lifeless body of the good girl being pulled from the water by two sinister looking hillbillies. Remember, the kids are pretty drunk and stoned and just a LOT confused. Tucker doesn’t really help matters when he turns to the college kids and yells ‘WE GOTCHER FRIEND. COME AND GET ‘ER!’ while pointing at a seemingly dead good girl. The college kids scream and run back into the woods, leaving the good girl. She, when she wakes up, realizes that the guys aren’t so bad at all but her friends think she’s been kidnapped or murdered.

And so follows miscommunication after miscommunication, with the kids believing that Tucker and Dale are evil murderers out to kill the kids, while Tucker and Dale think the kids have some kind of suicide pact and are trying to take the guys out with them. There’s plenty of hilarious spots and lots of gore. It’s not very long, just over an hour and a half, but the last twenty minutes are pretty damn weird and probably could have been cut out.

I loved this. It sucks that Tucker and Dale didn’t get more press or more people watching it. But everyone should see it! Well, if you’re squeamish, avoid the scene with the wood chipper. Or the chainsaw. Though, that last scene could be a good reason why you shouldn’t run with a chainsaw or make sure there are no hornet nests in logs before cutting them. And if you see a mysterious jar of liquid marked with Xs, don’t throw in on a fire.

IT’S GREAT!!!! Go watch, nooooooooooooooow!

6 Chocolate Brownie sundaes out of 5!

Doghouse

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Doghouse

When we get to the country, we are gonna piss up all the trees to mark our territory, then
we are gonna find a pub and get so drunk we can’t remember how to speak, and we’ll communicate in grunts like neanderthals, before passing out in the woods!

Doghouse is an older installment of the very awesome comedy horror genre.

I just watched it a couple of days ago, so it’s fresh in my mind.

I adored it. It was completely ridiculous and full of gore. Some people may think it’s misogynistic, but I didn’t find it so. It’s just good fun and the guy characters are so stereotypical, that they’re not believable as real men anyways.

A few British guys (I lost count) decide to take a guys weekend. One of them (Stephen Graham of Snatch fame) is getting divorced so his friends want him to realize that all women are not out to get him.  Like I said, there are a bunch of guys, so some of the more important ones are the slimy player Neil, hapless Mikey and token gay guy Graham. The others are just not that interesting. One poor sap, Banksy, is always late so he doesn’t show up until about 3/4 through the movie.

Anyway, Mikey hires a van with sexy driver Ruth, or, as Neil christens her, Candy. They go to this little village where Mikey’s gran lives. When they get there, it looks pretty deserted and they wander about looking for a pub. Mikey goes to his gran’s house to get the key. Neil goes off to the loo where he sees a woman in a stall heaving up a bunch of black gunk. Mikey finally finds the key under a garden gnome (gran has a lot of gnomes). He hears a weird noise and turns a corner (I don’t get why gran’s backyard is like some kind of wooden fence maze) and finds a bride. She’s cross legged on the ground and tearing at some intestines with her teeth. There’s a dead gutted dog nearby. She sees Mikey and lurches up and grabs this axe from a dog house (nice) and starts swinging. Mikey tries to counter with his garden gnome but decides hey, maybe this isn’t going to work and he runs.

Turns out all women in the village have turned into zombies. YES, I CONSIDER THEM ZOMBIES. The zombie women only attack males, hence the dead dog and lots of dead men. There’s giant boobed goth zombie chick with sword, fetish hairdresser zombie chick with scissors, granny zombie with walker, bride zombie with axe and my ( and Neil’s) fav, very fat zombie chick in nightgown with curlers. Really, women love Neil. In one of the best scenes, Neil has to deal with his animal magnetism for women when Nightgown Zombie catches him in her lovenest. The guys have to band together to somehow get out of the village alive while dealing with a village full of zombie women intent on male blood and flesh!

And for Doctor Who fans, Mikey is Mickey!

So I like the movie. It was funny, actiony and gory. Everything I love. I’m not watching it for the plot or anything. If you want a good, fun movie, along the lines of Shaun of the Dead, Doghouse is the one for you!

4 Chocolate Brownie Sundaes out of 5.

I lied. There are no desserts

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This is the birth of what could very be the end of the world. I decided to blog.

But really, what I’m doing is putting out movie reviews. I watch a ton of movies and randomly tell people what I think, but then I forget what I think because there have been so many.

This will be heavy on horror and action, because, let’s face it, that’s pretty much all I watch. I don’t subscribe to watching specific directors (unless it’s my zombie overlord, Romero) and I don’t do chick flicks.

I will also admit that sometimes yes, I WILL watch movies out of my comfort zone because they feature hot actors. There, I said it. You all do it too, it’s okay to admit it!

Sometimes there will be something about food or dessert, maybe even a restaurant review because I also loooove my food.