For vets, anyways.
I’m a crazy cat lady and openly happy about it. I only have one cat right now, but that’s purely because she won’t let me have more. Also, I’m Asian so I adore Hello Kitty.
I adore my cat. Love her to bits. She’s special, and I mean it. She’s mentally developmentally delayed. She is forever stuck in kittenhood brain mode. She has a shorter attention span than a goldfish and a really really short term memory to boot. Seriously, she got lost in a box and cried in there for a good 15 minutes before I rescued her. But she’s the sweetest girl in the world. Yeah, she has some problems with certain people, but I have the same issues with the same kind of people, so it works out.
Anyways, she’s very very sweet and good. But forever a toddler. And, like any toddler, she needs schedules and structure and any disruption causes a major meltdown. Hence, the nightmares for vets.
This week was her annual check up. It’s a short, 5 minute bus ride with the stop right in front of my house and the other stop directly across the street from the vet clinic. She’s been there many times, she has never had any issues before. Except for this visit.
First off, I went to a friend’s house that morning to take care of his cat. I petted another cat for an hour. I cheated!
Then, I made the appointment during her nap time. She sleeps a specific time period every day (not including the random kitty naps during the rest of the day). Do not fuck with her during nap time. So yeah I picked her up, crammed her into the cat carrier while she was supposed to be snoozing.
It snowed and was coldish, but she usually likes that as long as she gets to play in the snow. Which she didn’t because I didn’t want to let her out by a busy street.
Then, on the bus, she wasn’t allowed to get out and play. She loves riding in cars. When we visit my parents in another city, she’s allowed to sit on that console between the driver and passenger seats in the front. She sits there and my dad pets her as he drives. She loves it.
And when got to the clinic, there was a kitten there for adoption in the reception area. I stupidly petted the adorable kitten.
So all those things together caused an apocalyptic tantrum. Which is when the vet came in. He unzipped the top of the carrier and instead of my sweetly confused girl, was this THING with 5 sharp angry ends. There was a furry tornado of teeth and claws in there. She was growling, hissing, screaming and snapping like Cthulhu himself was watching and she wanted to sacrifice the vet to him. She tried to disembowel him. She was on her back and just clawing the air in hopes of blood. She looked like a snake. I swear her eyes turned red.
The vet stepped back and said ‘Okay… 2 options. I can get an assistant in here and with gloves and towels, we can pull her out and do the examination that way. Um, she’d probably get hurt and piss or shit everywhere, and I KNOW I’d get hurt and I don’t want to go to the hospital today. OR… We can sedate her.’
Dope her up, doc.
It took over 30 minutes for the tranquilizer to take. Even then, she was still hissing and growling. Sleepily, but she tried to bite and claw him. But we did the exam and everything was fine and dandy and he would see us next year. I fully expect her file to come up flashing red lights. But I’m glad he was able to do the physical and give her a clean bill of health.
It just cost me 500 fucking dollars, that’s all.